Natalie Johnson
Humor Columnist
While this situation is real, these specific details are not.
After a full semester of avoiding the restroom during fifth period, Emily Haimeyer was proud and confident in her achievement of retaining all 10 bathroom/water fountain passes, worth five points each into her final grade.
Despite Haimeyer’s efforts to pull a Hail Mary and raise her borderline grade to subpar, the passes were not enough.
“The odds were definitely against me,” Haimeyer said. “I had the class right after lunch at 12:45, right when the sprinklers came on outside the window and when my teacher made his afternoon pot of coffee.”
About other challenges faced during fifth period, Haimeyer pointed out how difficult it is to focus when your bladder is full enough to make the school facilities look desirable of use.
“I definitely fell behind on work in class because I was always so set on saving my pass,”
Haimeyer’s teacher who asked to remain anonymous said in an email about the passes:
“I would honestly let her use the bathroom if she just asked. She wouldn’t need to use a pass. I just give the passes out to make sure students aren’t wasting class time wandering the halls.”
The pressing issue of lack of communication between teachers and students is perfectly exemplified in the demise of Haimeyer.
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