It has come to my attention at this school something has gone horribly wrong. It is illogical to assign students a set number of times they can go to the toilets.
I ask the establishment, why dost thee persist in such an egregious act? Is it reasonable to expect students to talk to a friend, get a drink, go to their lockers, arrive to class on time, and use the bathroom all in five short minutes? Is this unreasonable request even possible?
Really, I would like to know the answer to that last one because I have found it to be impossible. As I was saying, I implore you to rethink your stance on only allowing us students three or four bathroom passes per semester, and the idea of a set number at all. I cannot speak for the alien race known as the teachers, but for students, when nature calls, there is no holding it in until lunch.
I will ask thee again, have you no regard for the sanctity of clean underwear? I am baffled at this abomination of injustice and total disregard for common sense. Note, I am not calling for an act of students to vandalize bathrooms, but I call for common sense. It is not a pedestal from which I lecture you but from my knee, imploring you with my legs crossed as I hop around. It is not with ignorance or ill will I ask for such a change but the simple and yet forgotten expression of common sense.
The new motto of the school is all too quickly becoming, ” Well, you should have gone on your way to class.” Does school pride have no meaning? When I enter the doors of the senior entrance of our school, the school crest might as well say those words, since I do not speak a word of Latin, not that I could even read the gibberish Latin due to the puddle of urine that some poor student left there which covers the words because he or she was prohibited from using the bathroom.
So again, I ask, is this common sense to force us into submission in such a humiliating fashion? Is it so easy to ignore my humble plea? I wish not to stand here much more, for I really must go to the bathroom you see, so I shall leave the humble podium of my pen and leave you with this last resounding thought and request: “Let my people GO!” for it is common sense.
Sincerely,
Quill (Name withheld at request)
