Willie Zempel
Feature/Entertainment Editor
Senior Sam Short was chosen as this year’s commencement speaker, and he had a hard road to get there.
“I knew my life was going to be rough when I was two years old, and I buckled up, and my seat belt rubbed on my neck. It was really annoying, and no one helped me. That was the start of when I knew I needed to do everything on my own in life. Later more problems arose junior year when my mom stopped cutting the crusts off my sandwiches,” Short said.
Short has been a part of jazz band, marching band, cross country, track, baseball and yoga club throughout his high school career. He plans to go to DePauw University.
“When I was six, my family purchased a hatchet. I wanted to use it, but my mom said, “No.” I said, “No” to her. She said, “Fine” and thought I would just give up. She later came out and saw a huge tree had fallen and crushed my neighbor’s fence. I was now a man,” Short said.
Short said for his speech people should look forward to a recap of the Class of 2014 since sixth grade. He added he’ll throw in a bit of comedy (for the ladies).
“Sam was an easy choice for commencement speaker. I personally voted for him. His voice is like a mix of Fergie and Jesus. It’s like honey flowing from the fountain of life. This is coming straight from my heart,” senior Walker Green said.
“I think I was chosen as commencement speaker because I have great legs. All of the past ones have had great legs,” Short said.
“He looks good in short-shorts. Commencement speakers need to have good legs,” senior Chase Richards said.
“My greatest high school moment was when I walked into the auditorium, and I saw two students making out. I just knew it was true love after silently watching for three minutes,” Short said.
“The worst part about high school was people always trying to rap battle me, and I always flamed them out. They don’t think I am the best rap battler. No respect,” Short said.
“When I grow up, I want to be a man. I already am a man, but the hardest part about being a man is staying a man,” Short said.
“It’s hard leaving the school behind, but I’m ready to take on this world as a man with a dream… and a hatchet,” Short said.
