The Administration has decided that we, the student body, should not wear our beloved hats. I Quill, your beloved voice to fight the senseless rules, will not stand for the never ending freezing brains of the student body in this late January, in my never ending paper of the simple and yet forgotten phrase of Common Sense.
I do not know if anyone has seen the thermometer of late, but Jack Frost himself shivers in these intolerable cold days of January so why must our young heads, that may I say you are trying to mold, be subject to the most intolerable weather?
Doe the administration see it as a gang symbol? One that rallies us against them? I have taken a vow to fight the common-less sense in our unjust school and dare I say, “why are our hats forsaken so!?”
In our younger years, the ‘No Hats’ rule made some common sense. We, as young and naïve as we were, stole everything from one another in the almost always successful attempt to start a game of chase. However, now, I remind that gum was once a contraband item in order to protect the defenseless underside of the desks, but now we are blessed with the wonderful smacking as the gum restriction was lifted with age. Why should the unjust ban on hats persist?
Why is it that our already fried brains are subjected to the cold? Is it so wrong to hide the seemingly endless pandemic of bad haircuts in our school? Are these forsaken souls doomed to be further shamed by our administrations’ lack of the simple and yet forgotten expression of common sense?
My Statesmen pride runs deep as I would hope it does in our administrations’ cold and unforgiving hearts. Therefore I must take the stand that your ban on hats, dear sirs, is down and right anti school spirit. Consider our shiny school crest that sits in front of the senior entrance and bears a cane and the outlawed top hat. This great symbol of our school is banned within its doors. I must repeat the common question, “To what common sense does this prescribe?”
Hats are a vital part of our very being as Americans. As we settled the West, we wore raccoon hats. As our famed and beloved cowboys conquered the West, they wore 10-gallon hats. Lincoln himself was idolized for his top hat. What possible common sense is there in forbidding them all? Is it the new policy to belittle us so?
So I say this, let the hat be what it really is, an awesome head accessory, just like this country, made for you and me.
-Quill (name held at request)